The MURDERER That is ME

Sorry if it's taken so long for me to update. I haven't really had any free time. I have one more test to do before I graduate. And it's reading . . . . . .

like I'm going to fail that! That is my easiest subject. I totally rock in reading!

Anyways,I wanted to make sure nobody made the mistake of posting my obituary or anything, cuz I am alive . . . *psst*, ask the people who think I'm annoying (my brothers).

And guess what . . . .I"M GRADUATING ON MAY 4TH!!!

Hurrah! Thank our Lord Jesus Christ for giving us so many miracles! ;p

I even got this card from my brother Steve that said:

"Whoa, your graduating? . . . -- And I thought Moses parting the Red Sea was MIRACLE."

I thought it was hilarious.

Though all of this happy stuff has come up. I have to report something very sad. Madflip and I have broken up. Unfortunately, yes, our relationship is over. He broke up with me and said that he wanted a break from everything before college life took over us.

And I was okay with it until he explained to me, very thoroughly, that 'everything' also included me. He broke up with me Friday afternoon, which totally ruined my weekend. I wasn't that sad though. I did cry alot, but there is no way in hell that I'm ever going to beg for him to take me back.

Hell no. I will not degrade myself by doing something as petty as that. Anywayz, I just wanted to say "Hi" to my "Very Best Net Friends"! I'm also going to go back to SS to see if there are any good Rp's going on.

G2G.

Love you guyz,

JULZ <3

Post Script -- Hey, Tori luv? What's your SS name again? I kinda forgot from the lack of visiting the site.

Hey guys. I'm just here at my friend's house. Madflip is asleep on the couch. I think I'm gonna do some major Z's too. I just wanted to let ya'll know I'm not dead.

Lurfe you all!

Julz.

<3

Ps-- Happy Belated Birthday, My Precious!!!!

Okey Dokey Pokey.

So, Madlfip spent the night last night, but then he left in the morning to go to his mom's house and then to school with me. I left school at around 11:30 and Madlfip and I went to go eat at Jack In A Crack (Jack in a Box) and it was so romantic. . . . NOT.

But it was okay. There was a lot of drauma yesterday too. Some one got their house raided and it turned out that their next door neighbor had called the cops on them and all this stuff. Tori I miss you, buddy! And your missing all this drauma too! Jesus Christ, I need to get my phone and computer back so that I can IM you. It suck that I can only talk to you by way of LJ. I should be able to talk to you on Yahoo.

I can't wait to get it back up. I'm gonna ask for a raise or something. Lol, just kidding. I'd probably get fired for asking for one.

G2G.


Lurfe you, Precious!

JULZ <3

Okay, I haven't been here in a while. I'm at work again. I was supposed to quit on the 10th, but it turns out that I have fifteen more hours to go so I have to work for the rest of the week and then i will finish them. I'm gonna talk to my work manager at the Good Samaritan Center to see if i can work for another month, but somewhere else. They said that they would transfer me to the Court House office. I don't which one, but it's going to one of them. I'm just going to do all this filing for them and welcome all the people who come in to have appointments and stuff. I wanted to go to the Whitte Museum, but they told me it was all full up.

Oh, well, maybe next time.

Peace Out.


LuRvE yOu, PrEcIoUs!

The classes at St. Philip's was alright. Like I said, they were really fun . . . . to some point. The building was alright too, but it wasn't very impressive. I know, I know, I'm being shallow about the way the bloody building looks, but I can't help it cuz Sul Ross University looked so much better! They had restaruants and not to mention a 'play room' and shopping center connected to it.

Though, the building I was taking the class in was not exactly the main building of St. Philip's. It was just the Aviation building. I still need to see the main building before I could jugde the whole college.

N-e-wayz, I gotta go. I'm at work.

See you guys.

Luv ya, Precious!

Julz <3

Hey. I'm just here at St. Philip's College taking one of their courses. It's just for fun and it is really fun, cuz we get to do alot of hands on things and there just happens to be a chance that we can get electrocuted or something.


^^ So that just makes it all the more fun. LOL :p

I've been here in the same class since about 9:30 and I will be in the class until around 6:30 or so. It suck cuz I've already missed two days of work just to take this experimental class. But then again, I will get paid fifty bucks, so maybe I shouldn't say that it really sucks . . . . . hmmm. Anywayz, this will be my last day in this class and then I can go back to work.

I'm really sad cuz Friday is my last day at work. I put in my notice that I was going to quit on Friday and then I'm going to go look for another place to work at. I think it won't be too hard. I have experience in Secretary work, like filing, faxing, printing, out-going and in-coming mail and I can even do Microsoft Exel and do Microsoft Word. I am very efficient on a computer, so computers won't be a problem. I also am a very good people person.

Today is not very interesting. I'm at the library with my mother and she wants to find a side a job. She is a care giver and what she basically does is drive to an old person's home and help them with what they can't do. Like the laundry and the cooking and cleaning and she even takes them to the doctor. I mean I wasn't complaining when she wasn't here, cuz she was in another city and country, you know? But now that she is back in the country and state, I get kind of frustrated with her because now she is barely home anymore. She's off taking care of some old person.

But then again I understand to a degree that she gets really bored at home by herself when all of us kids and teens are at school. I told her that she could try going back to college, but she said no, that she was tired of school. LOL! Anyways, I hope she gets this job.

She get a little weird when we leave her at home. She get paranoid and stuff. It's kind of funny really. She starts to look out of the windows and she says she feel sall angsty and that the her soaps don't cut it anymore. LOl. She does need a job.

I g2g.

Lurfe you all.

Julz <3

Okay, so I had a 90 minute math final today. I went in at around 9:00. The test was surprisingly easy. You see, there are two parts to this test of ours. The first part is mostly made up of word problems and we are allowed to use a calculator. The second part is half word problems and basic math and we are not allowed to use a calculator.

But what sucks about the second half in that there are no multiple answers!

They just have answer sheets where we have to find the right answer for ourselves, so that just makes it a tad harder and makes us act more nervous if we had gotten the right answer or not. Urgh. I feel like throwing up (literally) just thinking about it.

Anyways, afterward I went drove home and I saw an old middle school friend. His name is Alex. He was really hot in school from what I used to remember of him. He got really tall! I swear, he is like 6"2 or something. . . . . AND HE"S STILL HOT!!

I was just driving and I saw this guy in regular clothes instead of a uniform and I went, "Damn it! . . . Wha? THAT'S ALEX!"

I swear to God I slammed my foot so hard on the brakes that my books almost went through the windshield! LOL! HE IS SO FREAKIN' HOT! MAN, IT"S JUST JAW DROPPING! AND I LOVE HIS GREEN EYES!

ARGH!!!

*drools on keyboard, sparks begin to fly out of it*

-------

How do you guys like my hair now?????

Do I look good? Or not?

Steve took the pic of my hair and he says hi too. It was funny, cuz the first picture he tried to take of my hair, his thumb ACCIDENTLY got into the pic and it blocked my whole head and everything. It looked really funny, tho!

Lurfe you all!


Julz

PS -- Lurfe you too, my precious!

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Saturday freakin' rocked. A friend of mine, who had become pregnant, came to my house with her husband. Her family is like totally into the Christian religion and they practically forced them to marry just cuz she got pregnant! I thought that was totally unfair, but then again it did sound just, cuz she should not have gotten pregnant in the first place, ya know?

Anyways, it was their first Saturday night without the baby, her name is Faith, and they looked all sad without her. So I gave them a ride to their house to pick the baby up and we brought her over to my house. I just have to say, that baby is so beautiful! I hope when I have a baby (somewhere in the FAR future) that he/she is as beautiful as their baby.

All those feelings, mixed with a feel bottles of strong alcohol kinda made us a little teary, but after the tears were done, we were good. ;p

We let them stay over with the baby, since driving under the influence is a big 'no no'.

*Beathes in and out* . . . . . can't wait to do a Saturday like that again.

This poem was written by a girl who commited suicide. It was written before she killed herself.

-----------

At night when I watch the sky so black,
There is one thing I whisper upwards in patience.
That someone will one day take notice of all these painful attacks.
I wish upon the loneliest falling stars,
For someone to come rescue me.
I hate the bleeding make it stop, upon my arms I can't bear the scars.
I wish I could be strong like him,
It is so hard to try and pretend, they think they know me so well
But really, its only the top surface they barley skim.
If only theyd see,
All the messed up, wickedness, and delusion inside my head.
I cant understand why it is alone and helpless I am too be?
I want someone to love me so bad,
Someone, anyone, show me you care,
Hold me when Im crying, comfort me when Im sad.
Is love, such a thing of only the lucky?
Why am I the only one to lie vulnerable, scared, and broken in the dark?
To be lost, and without my shallow wings my mind twists and gets so panicky.
It scares me too meet the girl in the mirror,
Why does she hurt herself, why does she deserve this,
The frightening blood raining from her body EVERYWHERE.
Unlock my chains, take away my knives, I want to be free,
Ill be waiting right here for you too come take me,
Just follow my sickening, helpless screams.
If this is the song of my life, remember this last lyric,
Play it over and over again in your heart,
Remember and dont cry my sweet brother Ill be with you in spirit.
One day when my heart cries loudest, and to the floor I break and die,
Remember my soul is here forever though,
So dont ever call this goodbye.

\You're a murderous death bringer!/
You were normal and a reble when you were alive.

But you were betrayed and fogotten, so your

soul fell into darkness. You don't wait for

death, you CREATE it. Why should someone live

happily when you were killed by the closest

person you knew.


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J	Judicial
U	Unusual
L	Light
I	Intense
E	Exhausting

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